I'll make it a point to go and visit mum when I'm free
Mum above studies, I don't mind seriously.

It's hard to fight back tears welling up and wanting to tell mum every thing that had happened in school like I used to.

Cannot speak properly, cannot let her see I'm crying
Deep breathing in and out to cool and control myself from being emotional.

How I wished I can ease her pain, let me suffer instead, let her live, cut down my lifespan, every thing possible just to make mum healthy again. ):

I'm so afraid of every day now, that it may be the last bid goodbye.

I know I shouldn't think negative, but I'm really really really afraid.

Lots of thoughts running through my mind.

I want to bring her back home and take care of her, holidays please come faster.

Damn pissed with nurses who allowed mum to be exposed to xrays without any protection since neighbouring beds are nearby and the patient next to her had to had her xray done.

B****

No loves tonight,

But a prayer that goes ,
Please God, make mum get well and better every day, cos she does not deserve all these,
any punishments let it befall on me, I am willingly to accept and take all the hurt from her.
Please don't take her back with you, take me instead.

(heartbreak and tears again)